EASTER IN IRAQ

i haven't got the pictures yet when i do i will post them sorry.

I was having a really hard time feeling the spirit of Easter yesterday, being in a place where Christ was nothing more than a mortal prophet and not the resurrected savior of the world, but then something happened. As the extremely boring and long shift came to a close, there arose an opportunity to go to visitation (the place where the families wait to visit their loved ones that are detained) and give out candy, stuffed animals, and random left over items from packages sent to soldiers. At first i didn't want to go, I thought to myself , that will take forever and i don't have that much time as it is, but then i remembered it was EASTER!!! So I swallowed my selfishness and volunteered to go. I'M SO GLAD I DID!!! When we first arrived there was some little Iraqi boys playing soccer in the heat. I instantly got excited, the thought of doing anything different than sitting on my butt watching the tragedies of the war here excited me. Not only did i get excited to play, but it was an opportunity to interact with some of the local children, something we unfortunately haven't had the chance to do(The youngest detainee that Ive seen i think may have been around eighteen). It took me back to Russia on P-day playing soccer with the youth. The boys loved us!!!! One thing i realized though is weather or not they love you they still want to be on the winning team. One minute they where on your team the next you'd pass the ball to them and they would take off the other direction!!! Hahahahah!! it didn't matter though it was just fun to laugh and play like a little kid again. After working up a good sweat(meaning my shirt was soaked in sweat) we took some pictures with them and went back to preparing the bags of candy and stuff.
What happened next broke my heart. As the sons, daughters, mothers, and so on finished there visits and returned to the exit of the base, we handed out the bags. These little kids who, inevitably, had just been torn from their fathers arms, came out heads down streaks of tears marking the tragedy we are all involved in. It was nice to see little smiles crack slowly across the saddened faces and a bit of joy momentarily replace the pain that seems to be their lot in life. It made me think of my boys and how painful it is to be torn from them. I was glade that i had the opportunity to maybe share alittle peace on such a wonderful day and thought they may not believe in Christ his spirit was there with those children. It made me think of the scriptures when Christ says, "suffer the children to come to me" and though he may have been tired and hot and worn from all the teaching, he loved them. I'm sure that our heavenly father and his son shed many tears because of those sweet Iraqi children as they look down upon the pain their children cause each other.
It was kind of a bitter sweet Easter this year for me. On the one had i was able to help, in a small way, those children, but on the other i was extremely humbled at the effects of war on families and children. It made me really appreciate my life and the blessings i have been afforded in a free country. It reminded me that although i may be temporarily torn from those i love, I will leave and go back to my life rarely looking back on what will seem a dream. But for those children it is their lives, there is no end to, at least not for many years.
There is too much pain in this world, too much hart ace, too much war, too much suffering, and too much hurt to wake up and be sad when i have as much as i do!!!! There is amazing news for all though!!!! HE HAS RISEN and some day all will bow on bended knee and know what he has done. ALL will have a chance...ALL Muslim, Jew, catholic, black, white, yellow, green, it doesn't matter does it. O how then how important it is, for those of us that already know, to work, work, work, and not stop till they know and have the peace we have!!!
HE HAS RISEN!!!!

Gods' Beauty Evan in Iraq

Every morning i find myself amazed at the beauty of the sun rise here. I know, most people that find therselves in Iraq take one look and instantly wish they had never set foot here(GUILTY), but this picture and moments here and there remind me that God created a perfict world once. I think too often we take one look at our saroundings and wish we were'nt there, but the one thing ive learned in the course of countless, less than plesant, experiences over my short twenty six year tenure we call life, is that if you look hard enough you can always find something that makes your heart sing and your eyes glaze over with amazement. Most people say,"your just dramatic," and i would have to agree, but if dramatic means taking in the sweet moments that make life a fantastic voyage to an unkown world full of human experience, pain, heart ace, joy, laughter, and so on and enjoying each one to the fullest, instead of a drudge march to death, than i don't mind being dramatic.
What a wonderful journey we are all on!!! Man the pain and heart ace sucks, to be frank, especialy here in Iraq. Im not going to lie, i would rather be at home with my beautiful wife and two amazing boys fishing and haveing fun and would jump at the opertunity to go home in an instant, but thats not the point. I have learned, reluctantly i might add, that its becasue of pain i will feel joy. Its because of the phone conversations, were megan sounds like a robot and i can hear about ever third word, that when i hear her sweet voice for real it will be as sweet a voice ever heard. Its cause of the numberless nights spent alon and wishing i could just hug my boys, that when i can...,well only a hug from the savior himself could compare. Unfourtunatly the system is set up that way, but if you know that the hard times don't seem as bad. I mean its always a little easier if you know there is something in it for you right?
So I think i like being called dramatic. Although the pain...unbearable and the heart ace...not comparable to anything, there will come a time here shortly (infact within two and half months) when it will have been all worth it.
So the next time you find yourself in a hard situation and things seem rough just stop...take it in...realy feel it...notice it...be alittle dramatic because shortly it will all be worth it.

Vanity

Alright so i confess, I like to look at myself in the mirror! Ya, you say wiered, but deep down you know you do it to. I find it so funny to observe the obvious "self checking" that goes on here. I mean, take the guy brushing his teeth in the sink next to me this morning for example. He walks up, towel wraped around his waist as if he couldn't put his pants and shirt on before he stepped to the mirror and sink, his eyes seductivly looking himself up and down with the ocasional look side to side to make sure no one else sees the vanity overflowing in his countanance. Slowly, eyes never leaving the confines of the mirror, he opens his black shaving kit and fumbles through the mess. Now at this point i was wondering just exactly how to get one of these cases that seemed extremly streneous to open. I mean he had to flex every muscle in his body to get that zipper open. It must be one of those new ressistance training shaving kits, made for the vain. Believe it or not the guy had talent. He managed to flex muscles ive never seen before and prepare his tooth brush all without looking down once! If only, one day, i can preform the "vanity stare" as well. Now believe it or not if you didn't know what your looking for the guy would have looked like he was just intensly focused on brushing his teeth, instead of a well exicuted flexing session in front of the mirror.
I have got to admit, im not that good YET, but im working on it. I still put my shorts on before stepping to the mirror and i usualy wait till every one has exited before i begin my usual analysis of my body. There are ocasions, when i know somebody that im not afraid to execute the go ahead vanity stare, but for the most part i wait until im alone. Now this does cause a bit of a problem seeming how i share a shower trailor with hundreds of soldiers. The trailor door is usualy in a constant open and shut motion leaving little room for err when executing the stare. You must have a plan... the basics are as follows.

1. find a mirror close enough to the door that you can hear if any one is coming, but far enough away that you wont be the first person they focus on when entering the door.
2. always have an excuss!!! brushing your teeth, shaving, poping a zit, or what ever. This is in case you do become the first thing they focus on.
3. Move on!! don't leanger on one excuss. If there are people in the trailor, gym, or wherever, they are going to mark you as vain if you spend a half hour on the same zit or brush the same three teeth over and over again without changing sides.
4. This is the Hard one ! Don't over do it. When your done your done. I know it sucks to leave just when you have convienced yourself that your makin progress in the love handle portion of your evaluation, but you have to pick it up and move it out when your done or you will for sure find yourself at the recieving end of some "your vain stares."
5. JUST DON"T JOIN THE MILITARY!!!!!!!!!!!! Then you can stand in the privacy of your own home, naked if you wish, and stare all you want.

Hey come on how are you ever going to know when youve made progress unless you take a look once and awhile. So call me vain if you will, but don't be surprised if you catch yourself brushing those teeth alittle harder than usual, after along hard tricept workout or straining unneceserily to pop that zit so you can see the results of the thirty min turbo jam abb sesion you just worked so hard on.

Five +s

Some times i feel like this picture!!!! The negativity of every one and everything squeezing in all around me. Some times i just want to scream! Alright enough of that!! The only way to fix a negative atitude is with a posative one, so i had better get started on the posative aspects of this life i live. Well lets see, lets name a few +s we got going on here.

1. To tell you the trueth, being on a schedule and being treated like a two year old isn't all that bad if you stop and think about it. Well of course there are the obvious hamperings and naggings of an overly concerned parent(U.S. military), but responsability is virtualy taken from me and the stress of day to day desicion making is narrowed to a meager do i want backed chicken and rice or fried chicken and rice. There are defenantly times at home i would have loved to have some one take those dicisions form me so that i could worry about something else deemed more important like spirituality, health, and so on. So i guess what im saying is that ya, thats a plus at times.

2. The gym, also known as my "savior", without wich i would go absolutly insane. As well as releasing some extremly overwhelming stress and anger, caused mostly by the patronistic parents(i.e. the military), i have regained my health. I have lost about thirty five lbs and and am on my way to a tone and fit body.

3. There is always the new out look on life i have reluctantly acquired over the last nine months. I have realized the importantce of the small things in life like, a well payed for memory foam bed, or a wet kiss from a slobery little two year old at the end of a long depressing day, and much more. obviously the list could go on for days, but in short i wont take for grantite the small things when i get home.

4. Money!!!!! Although i would rather work two full time jobs and have a full school schedule than do this, the money is good. Whats more, i can't spend it. Once again, i am as the five year old child given his first big alowence. Instead of taking it to the toy store and injoying it, it goes directly to the education fund set up, ya looks good on paper, but to the five year old the cool new bike with flames on it looks cooler, if you know what i mean. It will be awhile before i get to see or enjoy it. That is a plus though. Its not often in live when you can go for months without spending a dime.

5. Last but not least, I have aquired a taste for fine books. "The bigger the better," i find myself saying. There is no greater way to make time go by than a good long book that grabs you, pulls you in, lulls you to sleep in the middle, and then electrifies you at the end. Man i used to hate to read!!!